Mike Meets World

2 Years!

2008-02-06T13:44:00.000-07:00

Well, yesterday was my 2 year check up. It actually hasn't been two full years but I guess each of my appointments has been a bit before schedule. I don't really care though, I'm 2 years cancer free!

Looking back I realize that the memories of my experience are beginning to fade. I don't think about what I went through as much as I should. I'm taking life for granted again. I feel like the only thing that I've really taken from this is compassion for others going through medical issues.

One of my old friends from rowing was recently paralyzed after diving into a lake, a friend of a friend was diagnosed with Hodkgin's in Victoria and a friend of a friend was diagnosed with testicular cancer in Calgary. I'd like to dedicate this milestone to them. You too will soon forget of the trials that you've been through and life will return to you.

I now only have to go for checkups every 6 months. Pretty slack!

+16 Months

2007-06-14T14:33:00.000-06:00

My chest x-rays are clear, my blood work is perfect and the physical exam was good! I was a bit nervous before this one, but it seems like I shouldn't have been! My next checkup will be in October.

+16 Month Tests Delayed

2007-06-07T15:24:00.000-06:00

My next visit was supposed to be June 5th, but it was delayed because Dr. Blahey is on vacation. I'm going in on June 12th, next Tuesday, instead. This time I'm getting a chest x-ray, bloodwork and a physical exam. I guess those PET scans cause too many false positive scares. I'm very thankful for that because I don't know if I could handle another one!

A Year Later.....

2007-03-26T15:10:00.000-06:00

I'm still clean! Sorry this is a bit late, I've been a bit busy with everything. I took on a couple contracts outside of Nortel to make some extra money and have simply run out of hours in the day.

I now switch to checkups every 4 months instead of 3. My next one is just a chest x-ray and bloodwork in June. I'm pretty excited because the chances of relapse fall quite a bit after the first year has passed. Hopefully it will stay away for a long time!

+9 Months - Clean!

2006-11-07T22:08:00.000-07:00

I have no idea why the last one showed activity but my +9 month scan was completely clean. No cancer!!! I must have been excited or something for that last one :) I have decided that these scares are going to be no fun in the future so I hope to have few of them.

I think it's time to start enjoying life again, I was starting to get a bit down there. Bring on the ski season!

Waiting.....

2006-10-31T23:34:00.000-07:00

I had my +9 month PET scan and now begins the longest week ever waiting for the results. I get them next Tuesday (Novemeber 7th) along with my bloodwork results. I still don't know whether I'm optimistic or not, I come and go. I really just want to know what the deal is and get on with it.

New condo!

2006-10-06T09:08:00.000-06:00

My next scan will be on October 31st. Yes, that's Halloween, I think I might dress up. That is probably going to be the most important scan yet because it will confirm or deny the activity shown in the last scan. Keep your fingers crossed!

Last weekend I moved in to my new condo, here's a couple shots for everybody:

+6 Months

2006-08-31T13:46:00.000-06:00

Well, I've been delaying making this post because I really don't know what to say. I got my results last Tuesday (August 22nd) and my PET scan shows 2 nodes with metabolic activity in it. So basically there are two options here:

1. It's just an infection/cold/whatever which is causing these 2 lymph nodes to do something.

2. The cancer is back.

I have to go back in 3 months and have another PET scan. If that scan comes back negative, then it's back to life as usual. I did have a cold the week or two before my scan, so maybe that caused the activity. If that one is positive again then we've got a pretty serious issue. A relapse in your first year (I'm only at 6 months) post chemo is pretty much a death sentence. Google it if you want to see some papers on it, but it's not good.

So, I'm kind of freaking out sometimes and then thinking it might be something else the other times. I'm always thinking about it though. This is going to be a long three months....

+3 Months

2006-05-30T16:21:00.000-06:00

Well, it's been 3 months already. I went for my first post treatment check-up and it went pretty well. I asked about diving again and Dr. Blahey said that it would be best if I never dove again. I guess it's time to start forgetting about it. My veins should start to get better after about 6 months. The main vein in my bicep used to be big and soft and it has now turned into a little, hard, brown wire running up my arm. I hope it starts to soften up soon. My white blood cells aren't returning very quickly. They have only climbed to 1.6 from 1.4 before my last treatment. For comparison, the normal range is 2-8 and I was at 11 before chemo (elevated because of the cancer).

I've got a PET scan and another check-up in about 3 months. Until then I'm going to keep on trucking and getting back into shape. My energy levels seem to be pretty much back to normal, though I feel like I haven't slept enough most of the time. I've been playing beach volleyball at lunch, I'm in two evening indoor volleyball leagues (Mon & Wed), and I've started biking with Dawn again. Bring on summer!

So....

2006-05-14T20:39:00.000-06:00

I think this blog is pretty much done. I'll keep you updated with scan results but hopefully I won't have to use this much again.

My next scan is May 30th, just bloodwork and a physical exam. I will have a PET scan near the end of the year.

I'm feeling pretty much back to normal. All of the side effects except tiredness are gone. My hair is even starting to come back!

Phase 2 Begins

2006-03-20T20:30:00.000-07:00

Phase 1 (beat cancer) - check

Phase 2 (get back in shape) - starting now

I'm back at work now and trying to get my sleep schedule back to something manageable. I'm hoping to start working out next week, we'll see how that goes. I signed up for 2 volleyball leagues for the summer and I'm thinking about maybe doing something else. It's exciting because I can do whatever I want this summer! Not that I couldn't before, but this summer just feels different....

Finished, but crying

2006-03-08T23:42:00.000-07:00

I can't remember the last time I was crying, probably last year when my grandfather passed away, but I am right now. It's been an emotional day.

My chemo went well. The IV slid in on the first try, no burning in my veins, I'm not feeling all that bad right now, etc.

I got home and checked the Hodgkins support website which I do often. I was all set to brag about being finished. One of my friends, a beautiful young girl, diagnosed about the same time as me, sharing the same experiences as me, Caitlin Homes, had passed away. Her mom posted the message and told us that she got pneumonia yesterday and passed away in her sleep. My girlfriend welled up at the news, but I held it together. I didn't want to read too much because I was having dinner with my girlfriend, my sister and her boyfriend.

We had dinner and then opened up a fantastic bottle of port that my friend Ananth bought me for finishing chemo. It was delicious! We were all very happy that I was finally finished with this ordeal.

Then my girlfriend left, my sister and her boyfriend went to sleep, and I went back to the support website to read it fully. I read the mother's comments and I read all of the condolences left by the members (all people who have gone through or who are going through Hodgkins). I completely lost it, and I think I did so for two reasons.

1. She was just an amazing girl. She was probably only 20 but she seemed so incredibly happy right up until the end. Her comments always included funny pictures of her and her friends, she enjoyed life, she made those around her happy. She was worried that her sadness would impact her parents so she tried to hide it. Why do we lose those who are so good so young?

2. It made me realize my own mortality. My 30% recurrence chances are not good odds. I've made it this far, but am I really done? I sure hope so.

Here are some great pictures of Caitlin, she will always be remembered.

Laughing is my favorite, my laugh is really loud. - Caitlin

Caitlin is the second person on our board to have passed away after Rickie-Lee just passed away a little while ago. It's a horrible disease and I hope from the bottom of my heart that my time with it is over.

The last one......

2006-03-08T11:39:00.000-07:00

I'm just getting ready to go in for my last treatment! I'm more nervous for this one than for any of the others. I just can't wait for it to be all done.

I want to be sedated

2006-02-18T19:29:00.000-07:00

So I get into the hospital for chemo #11 and the nurse decides to put my IV in a vein a little bit up my arm, just above my wrist. It seems to go in alright and she starts pumping saline in and walks away. It starts to hurt quite a bit and I tell my dad, the nurse comes by to check it and my arm is swelling up pretty good. I guess it blew the vein and it wasn't going anywhere good. That hurt so much and when she took out the IV I had to put pressure on it too. Brutal.

I guess my veins weren't too cooperative after that and they had to give me a sedative to try to relax me so that they could get the IV in again. It ended up taking 4 tries after I was given the sedative. The rest of the treatment went by alright though.

I've been pretty sick since then. I hope it will start getting better soon. I got an extra day of anti-nausea medication, but I don't really think it does much good. I seem to feel the same whether I take it or not.

One left!

Nearing the end

2006-02-12T16:24:00.000-07:00

I've had 10 out of 12 treatments now with the 2nd last one this Wednesday. I'm getting pretty confident now and am just looking forward to being done. I haven't updated my blog for a bit, and have had a couple requests to do so, just because I've been feeling about average. This was my first time having 5 needles of Neupogen, I usually have 4, so I had some amazing bone pain and didn't really sleep at all on Friday night. I'm feeling pretty good now though and ready to do #11.

Back to skiing!

2006-01-29T20:16:00.000-07:00

I had a great day at Sunshine Village today. Dave and I headed out and were greeted with free passes and some of the best snow I've skiied in a couple years. Lighting was a little flat and at about 2pm I broke my pole in half, but it was still a great day.

I am feeling much better now after this chemo. It really took it out of me and I didn't even get much work done until Thursday. I think I might start taking a day or two more off of work. Right now I have chemo on Wednesday and then take Thursday and Friday off. I think it's getting quite a bit worse though and that I should take Monday and maybe Tuesday off as well. I didn't even go into work on Tuesday because I felt so crappy this week.

Ouch

2006-01-19T17:09:00.000-07:00

Chemo is a good way to kill your high. I'm feeling pretty crappy again, but I'm now 3/4 done! I can't tell yet whether it is easier or harder to continue with treatments once you know that the cancer is gone. On the one hand you know it's working and doing it's job, but on the other it seems pointless. Almost done I guess....

Cancer Free!!!!!

2006-01-17T18:37:00.000-07:00

Got the results of my PET scan back today and I am officially cancer free! As they put it they "detected no metabolic activity"! It's kind of crappy that I still have to return for 4 more treatments, but I'm on top of the world still.

PET Scan #2

2006-01-10T15:05:00.000-07:00

Well, I've now finished two-thirds of my chemo and this morning I had my second PET scan. They try to get rid of all of the cancer by the two-thirds point so this mornings test will tell us if it has worked. I'm pretty nervous about it, have been for a couple weeks now. If there is still cancer remaining I think that's a pretty bad sign. I don't think I'll get the results until my normal appointment next Tuesday though. It's going to be a long wait!

Suprise Party!

2005-12-29T22:08:00.000-07:00

Wow. I had no idea this was going to happen at all. I was hanging out with my old high school friends, driving all over the city and we were going to end up at the Bull & Finch, one of our old watering holes. When I walked in there was my family, co-workers, friends from school and friends from rowing. Lots of people I hadn't seen in a long time. It was just incredible.

My girlfriend and one of my friends did most of the organizing and it was a great job done by all. There was an auction at the pub and people donated personally and got others to donate as well. In total they raised over $2500! Amazing! Thank you to everybody who took part, and sorry that I couldn't see you to all those who couldn't make it. I was really touched by the whole event.

Happy Holidays!

2005-12-27T00:44:00.000-07:00

I hope everybody had a great Christmas! Ours was really nice and I'm feeling great. That's important because there has been lots of turkey to eat around here. I think my weight is almost back to normal due to excessive turkey consumption. Enjoy your New Years and be safe over the rest of the holidays!

7/12

2005-12-16T15:19:00.000-07:00

Number 7 is done and it's going pretty well. I think I'm just excited because I get 3 weeks off after this one and I'm done for the year! I'm pretty busy for the next 3 weeks or so as friends start coming back to Calgary and Christmas parties abound. I'm excited for Dave and Laura's wedding as well!

My Dad took my picture yesterday at chemo:

Opening Day at Fernie!

2005-12-14T12:01:00.000-07:00

I went skiing on the weekend at Fernie for opening day. Pretty good time, but I got tired out pretty quick. I had to stop skiing and head to the lodge at 3pm (skiing closes at 4pm). I tried to salvage my consciousness with a coffee and a Snickers, but I was passed out at a cafeteria table 2 minutes later. It was still a great time though.

I'm about to head in for my 7th treatment, my last one of the year! I just want this one to be over so I can enjoy Christmas/New Years. I have lots of friends coming home and I can't wait to see them all!

Halfway Done!

2005-12-03T13:06:00.000-07:00

I have now finished number 6! They are definitely getting worse. I get this horrible taste in my mouth during the treatment and it hasn't really gone away. The nausea has been about average this time, but I'm getting very tired. Thursday I got up at 1:30pm and was back in bed by about 4pm. That would be an ideal day for me if I didn't have to do anything else!

I have one more treatment this year and then it's Christmas and Dave/Laura's wedding time!

Skiing Soon!

2005-11-22T14:19:00.000-07:00

This weekend is my friend Dave's stag and we've got chalets booked in Banff for a weekend of skiing and relaxing. I'm so excited to get back out on the slopes. I'm planning on trying to ski on all of my "good" weekends, so every other weekend. Hopefully 15 days this year!

I've got a bit of a sore throat right now. I went to the doctor this morning and he did a throat swab and prescribed me some penicillin. We don't know if it's strep throat or just chemo pains, but he said it's better to overmedicate in my case. It could be pretty bad if I get sick as I don't have the greatest immune system now.

Other than that I'm feeling good and excited for the weekend!

5/12

2005-11-17T23:13:00.000-07:00

Number 5 is now past me. It was a pretty bad start, I normally don't have any trouble getting the IV in and this time took 5 tries between 3 nurses. I'm so tracked up I look like a junkie. I normally don't start feeling sick until later that night or the next morning and this time I felt sick from the second it started flowing too. Today has been par for the course though, not too bad. The weather is getting nice here so hopefully I'll get outside for a bit soon. I need to enjoy the last couple good days before winter sets in!

Pain Day

2005-11-11T10:48:00.000-07:00

Days 5-8 of each cycle are days that I get my Neupogen injections. They stimulate your bone marrow to produce more white blood cells. This causes the bone marrow to expand and on day 9, today, it is at it's peak. It hurts the most in my hips because that is where you have the most bone marrow. I brought my bottle of Tylenol into work today and it's sitting beside me.

I guess it's kind of fitting that it's happening on Rememberance Day this time. I hope you all take the time to remember those who fought for us so long ago. We live in the best country in the world, and I'm sure without them it would be quite different today.

Good News Finally!

2005-11-01T14:59:00.000-07:00

I just got back from my appointment at the hospital.

- My white blood cell counts are up to a decent level so I won't need to increase the number of Neupogen shots any more. They will remain at 4 per treatment (days 5, 6, 7, 8).

- My lung test shows that I have 130% of normal capacity, well above average, but I told him that I'm feeling quite a bit better without the Bleo in the last treatment. Even though I still have good lungs, I know that they were much better before chemo. He's decided to withold the Bleo for the rest so I think my lungs might be fine and scuba diving might happen again!

- My liver is clean! This means that it was a cancerous tumor and that the chemo has killed it all off. This is great news because it means the chemo is working and that I didn't have any other liver issues!

4th chemo is going to happen tomorrow and I'm happy now that I know that everything is going well. One third done after this one!

Fasting

2005-10-25T10:42:00.000-06:00

It's 10:30 and I have now finished my last food and drink until dinner time. Anybody who knows me well, knows that this will be a remarkable feat if I pull it off. I have an MRI of my liver at 4:30 and can't eat or drink 6 hours before! I just had a nice big breakfast and drank some water, we'll see how it goes! I'm a bit worried about the results, mostly because every result I've gotten so far has been worse than I imagined. I'm hoping the chemo has had an effect on it and it's not looking too bad though.

Last Friday I had my PFT (pulmonary function test). I've been having troubles breathing, especially when I workout, and this seems like a common side-effect of Bleomycin. I had to breathe into some fancy tubes for about a half hour, holding my breath, blowing out as hard as possible, etc. The techinician remarked that my results were very good, some of the best he had ever seen. This only frustrated me, because I realize that I have great lungs as I've lived a pretty active life, especially when compared to 80 year old cancer patients, but that they have no baseline for ME to compare it to. I wish they did one at the start of chemo so that they have something to compare it to. I'm sure my doctor is just going to say it's fine and that I'm well above average and put me back on Bleomycin. Argh!

My girlfriend's mom has been giving me all of my Neupogen shots so far. Realizing that winter is coming up, making daily drives to her house a little improbable, and that either Dawn or I have to give me my shot on Thursday in Victoria, Dawn gave me my shot last night. My mom is going to give me my shot tonight. It's kind of scary being a guinea pig for this, but Dawn did great last night and I'm sure my mom will too. I don't think I'll ever be able to give myself one though!

Ouch

2005-10-23T22:46:00.000-06:00

I think #3 was the worst so far. I've been pretty sick the entire time since chemo. The second one went well so I was hoping I might get less sick as they went, but I guess that's not the case.

I'm starting to get over it now though and I'm excited for my trip to Victoria this weekend. I'm heading out to take pictures at the Head of the Gorge, a big rowing race. Dawn is coming out with me and I'll get to show her all around my old home.

Here goes #3!

2005-10-19T13:56:00.000-06:00

I had my bloodwork done yesterday and chatted with the doctor a bit. My white blood cells were up to 1.6 this time, still not up into the 2-8 range, so I'm going to have to do 4 shots each time now of Neupogen. Boo! I told him about my lung issues and he's going to remove the Bleomycin this time and I have to go for a lung performance test sometime soon. I hope that goes well.

I'm about to head in for my third chemo and after this one I'll be one quarter done!

2 Down!

2005-10-11T13:16:00.000-06:00

The second chemo didn't seem to be all that bad so far. First couple days weren't that nauseous then it got worse and was pretty bad for about 2 days. By the end of the weekend I was done feeling sick. Now I'm into the "can't sleep even though I want to sleep 20 hours" phase. Fell asleep at about 3am last night and getting up for work this morning was a painful process which didn't work too well!

My chest is painful and I'm really going to have to talk to him seriously about it next Tuesday. I tried going for a bike ride on Sunday and was in quite a bit of pain and completely out of breath after about 10 minutes. I know I'm not in racing shape anymore, but this is getting to be ridiculous!

So, looking ahead there are 10 more treatments and I think it's completely possible I might make it now. This isn't too bad! The only bad things are the tiredness and chest pains but sleeping helps both of them!

Just Made It!

2005-10-05T14:03:00.000-06:00

Your white blood cell counts are supposed to be between 2 and 8. Last week's test put me at 0.4. My doctor said he won't do chemo if it's under 1. This week I rocked it and got 1.1! This afternoon is chemo #2 and I'm not really looking forward to it. I felt kind of sick this morning, I guess I'm just getting excited for the nausea!

I'm missing something...

2005-09-29T23:06:00.000-06:00

Dawn shaved my head today. I don't know what to think of it yet. I guess it's not as horrible as I was imagining.

To the Victoria folk, I just got the a-ok from Howie and booked my flight out for Head of the Gorge today. Dawn and I will be coming out on the Thursday afternoon and flying back Sunday night. I can't wait to see you guys!

Just say no to your fears!

2005-09-27T17:38:00.000-06:00

After I was diagnosed I was scared that my PET scan results would come back showing that I had a large spread of cancer. I got the results back and I had a large spread. I've been fearing having a low white blood cell count because that would mean I would have to inject myself with Neupogen daily. Today, the doctor told me I have a low white blood cell count and here comes the Neupogen! From now on, I'm going to think happy thoughts and hopefully only good things will happen.

I guess the first chemo really took my bone marrow out and it's not recovering too well, so they have to delay chemo #2 until next Wednesday. After that I have to inject myself with Neupogen on the 5th, 6th and 7th day following each treatment. Each injection costs $270! Thank you Sun Life!

After Chemo

2005-09-23T10:44:00.000-06:00

I'm feeling pretty much back to normal now. After the first chemo I was nauseous for about 4 days. I felt like I was about to throw up all the time and especially if I tried to eat. I lost about 8 pounds during those 4 days. About Monday my stomach began to return to normal and I have put 4 pounds back on since then. I've had a headache pretty much constantly since chemo. It's not too bad but it's a constant annoyance. My chest/lungs started hurting on about Saturday and still hurt now when I take a deep breath.

I read up about Bleomycin and it's effects on your lungs. It causes lung damage and will cause oxygen toxicity problems which means that I can never scuba dive again as well as never being able to be put on oxygen in the hospital. This was quite the kick in the nards to me because I just got certified about 2 years ago and was really enjoying it. I was planning on diving in Hawaii in April. I try to keep my spirits up by saying that cancer is just a temporary thing and after 6 months I'll be back to normal, but stuff like this drags me back down again. I realize that I'll never be the same again and it's a scary thought.

Chemo #1

2005-09-15T10:23:00.000-06:00

It turns out they do all of the chemo through a hand IV, I hate hand IVs! It took a bit to get it in and it never really stopped hurting for the whole 2 hours or so that it was in. Everything else was pretty uneventful. The last drug they gave me made my veins burn all the way up my arm but then they mixed more sugar solution into it and it helped a bit. My Dad, sister and her boyfriend, and my girlfriend all were there with me which was really nice.

Afterwords it wasn't too bad. I had to go to the bathroom lots because of having so much fluid given to me in the IV. The first time it was red too (one of the chemo drugs is bright red and makes your urine red)! I started to feel a little bit sick to my stomach last night, but it wasn't too bad. This morning I woke up with what feels like a really bad hangover. My stomach is a mess and I have a headache. I took my Zofran pill and it helped a bit, but it doesn't seem to make too much difference.

Excuse me?

2005-09-13T15:41:00.000-06:00

I have always believed that I caught this early, and I've always feared that I hadn't. It looks like my fears have won. I got the PET scan results today and not only is the cancer on both sides of my lymph node system it's also spread to my liver. So instead of being Stage 1 (the best) as they originally thought I am now Stage 4 (the worst). I will now have to have at least 6 months of chemotherapy and survival rates drop a bit. I have to go for an MRI of my liver soon as well. Ever since my diagnosis I've never really feared for my survival, I was mostly just worried about possible side effects of the treatment. I think that has now changed.

Party!

2005-09-13T11:12:00.000-06:00

I had a great time last night! Most of my Calgary friends showed up at the Bull & Finch and we had some food and drinks. I wanted to have a little get together before chemotherapy started and I think it was a success! Sometimes it amazes me how many great friends I have, I consider myself incredibly lucky to have so much support. Thank you to everybody!

Confirmation

2005-09-08T15:25:00.000-06:00

Just got back from getting my stitches out of my neck. I asked for the results from the biopsy and it's nodular sclerosing Hodgkins lymphoma. I was pretty sure I had Hodgkins all along, but I'm still feeling kind of crappy. I guess I still kept a little bit of hope that it might not be cancer. Oh well, I'm glad chemo is starting next week so that I can get this going.

A Wild Weekend

2005-09-06T16:33:00.000-06:00

I was in the Okanagan with Dawn for the long weekend, visiting my Grandma, touring some wineries and getting some time on the beach. We stayed at a nice bed & breakfast in Peachland. It was all great except that we were going to hit the beach on Sunday but it was cool and rained a bit so we didn't end up going. We had some excitement the first night when we almost walked right into a black bear on a dirt path by the golf course and on our brisk walk home we walked right past another one in the bushes (maybe 2-3 feet away!). I saw it first and didn't tell Dawn because I thought she would run! Sunday night a coyote got into our bed & breakfast and their dog fought it in the kitchen and pushed it out of the house! Excitement aside, it was a great trip and it was nice to have a little bit of a vacation.

PET Scan

2005-09-01T13:54:00.000-06:00

Yesterday was pretty uneventful. The radioactive glucose was a little bit late from Edmonton. I wasn't supposed to have surgery for 2 weeks before the scan, and this would have been fine, but since they delayed it I had minor surgery the 2 days prior! They said it was okay though because they were both pretty minor, but I was worried for a bit that they might have to delay it for another 2 weeks!

They got me into a small, dark room with a nice recliner chair. They injected the glucose through an IV and I sat still in my chair for about an hour. I just had an hour long nap! Then the scan took about an hour and I went home.

I get my stitches out of my neck next Thursday and then I have my appointment the next Tuesday. I feel free not having too many doctor's appointments coming up! I leave tomorrow morning for the Okanagan with Dawn and I'm very excited about the trip. It will be so nice to get away and relax for a while.

Bone Marrow Biopsy

2005-08-30T15:13:00.000-06:00

I was really worried about today's procedure. Had some bloodwork first (I don't know why they have to do this every single time I go!!!) then I sat in the operating room for a bit in my gown with my Dad. Dr. Blahey showed up, kicked my Dad out (though I'm sure he didn't want to be there), and told me what was going to happen. Two bone marrow samples and a bone core sample. They got me to curl up in the fetal position and froze my back where your hip bones are. They made an incision and pushed something into the bone, I think to break open a hole. That didn't really hurt much, but it was a lot of pressure. Then they stuck in a needle and withdrew bone marrow twice. This was a really sharp pain, but it went away pretty quickly as well. Next he got out what felt like a hand drill and he cranked away for a couple minutes to get the bone core sample. It was really weird and was scary thinking about what was happening. All in all, I think it went better than I was expecting.

They told me that I can't have a bath for 24 hours. Now I'm in a bind! No showers or baths! I think my girlfriend will be leaving me shortly! I am all scheduled for the next appointments now. PET scan tomorrow, an appointment with Dr. Blahey to talk about my chemo/radiation on September 13th and my first chemo session is September 14th. I guess it's all underway now...

Lymph Node Biopsy

2005-08-30T15:03:00.000-06:00

Yesterday was my neck biopsy and I wasn't really worried about it before going in. Shortly after checking in and getting changed into my gown they came to give me an IV. They stuck it in my hand, missed the vein, moved it around some and I passed out. My Dad said afterwards that I was convulsing and when I woke up there was quite a bit of commotion going on around me, probably about 10 nurses. There was mention of a "code blue in day surgery" sounding on the PA system, I guess that was me! I don't really know what caused it, the same thing happened with my first fine needle aspiration. I've had several IV's lately though and they all went fine. Maybe it was the fasting and dehydration. Dawn showed up just as I was waking up and was wondering what all the commotion was about, I'm glad she wasn't there to see me in convulsions.

I guess they gave up on giving me an IV, so they instead started one a couple hours later when they wheeled me into the operating theatre. It went fine and they said that I would start feeling drowsy, wouldn't remember anything and would probably just go to sleep. I didn't feel any different! They froze my neck with local and began the surgery. It was pretty quick and easy. They wheeled me into the recovery room for 15 minutes or so to watch me, then back to my room for an hour to watch me some more. The pain isn't too bad, it just hurts when I swallow or move my left arm. I can't shower for 2 days now, so I guess I'm switching to baths.

I'm Oriented

2005-08-26T17:39:00.000-06:00

Just got back from a great session at Tom Baker. My parents, Dawn and Jon all came with me which was really nice. There was about an hour long presentation, mostly on chemo side effects and how to manage them. I think it really helped and calmed us down a bit. It doesn't sound all that bad now. We got a tour of the hospital and got to see the chemo rooms. I got a nice folder of information about the specific chemo drugs I'll be on. I'm feeling a little more comfortable now. I just wish it was Thursday already and my surgery, bone marrow test and PET scan were done!

PET Scan Down!

2005-08-25T10:17:00.000-06:00

The PET scanner is down today so they rescheduled me for next Wednesday. I guess I can eat breakfast now. It sucks because now I'm missing a going away lunch for a coworker.

We had our first Nortel Corporate Challenge volleyball practice last night and I'm pretty excited for it. It went really well and it's great to be playing indoor again. Our team is pretty strong, but I hope I can make it. I also hope that if I make the team I don't have to miss it because of treatments. One more practice and then they make cuts.

Getting scheduled

2005-08-23T11:05:00.000-06:00

I'm getting most of my staging scheduled now. PET scan this Thursday, orientation Friday (my family and I can meet everybody at Tom Baker, get a tour, listen to a talk about cancer, etc.), then the neck biopsy next Monday and bone marrow Tuesday. I guess after they have the results I'll meet with Dr. Blahey to figure out chemo/radiation plans.

Dawn came home last night and it's really great to have her back. She got me some amazing presents from Italy and I'm wearing my new shirt today!

I added some links on the side by popular demand. Some informative links and some links to other peoples blogs which I have read to give me the lowdown on what to expect. You might find them informative, give them a read if you want.

Cancellations

2005-08-20T22:57:00.000-06:00

As much as I didn't want this to affect my life, it has started to really affect it. I already cancelled on my volleyball team for the Nortel Summer Games and now my family and I just decided to cancel our Hawaii trip. It would end up delaying my treatment by about a month and none of us really felt comfortable doing that. I guess I'll have extra vacation for next year now....

First visit to Tom Baker

2005-08-18T18:00:00.000-06:00

I'm back from the doctor finally. I had to get a whole bunch of preliminary stuff done today, more x-rays, bloodwork, urine test, height and weight measured, met the nurse and doctor who will be doing most of the stuff with me, etc. I have my neck biopsy scheduled for the 29th, bone marrow biopsy for the 30th, a PET scan somewhere around there and then chemo/radiation will start after that. Probably about 4 months of chemo and radiation at once. It turns out that my CAT scans weren't clean and I actually have a chain of about 6 cancerous lymph nodes. I was super scared when he said that but he said it's pretty normal and he still considers this to be localized. I told him about my Hawaii trip and he said that we might have to delay treatment until after the trip (I had hoped they could maybe do a cycle before I go), but that Hodgkins is a pretty slow cancer so that it wouldn't matter too much. I guess it's all pretty good news then, but I'm not looking forward to it one bit!

Going to Tom Baker

2005-08-17T13:15:00.000-06:00

When I talked to the Tom Baker Cancer Centre yesterday they were pretty surprised at how long it was taking me to get stuff going with my other doctor. They just called and told me that I'm supposed to come in tomorrow. It'll just be an informative session and they'll book me for orientation, the biopsy, chemo, etc. I'm glad things are moving along quicker now. It's nice to know that I'm at Tom Baker finally too. Things are looking up!

The wheel's in motion!

2005-08-16T10:11:00.000-06:00

Dr. Gillis is back in the office so I can resume pestering them over the phone! Due to a cancellation at the hospital they had an opening for surgery on August 29th, so that's when my biopsy is going to take place. It feels good to have a date scheduled now, even if it is almost 2 weeks away. The receptionist also gave me the CAT scan results and everything looks good! There seems to be no spread in my chest or abdomen which is great. About a week after the biopsy I will have the results and be transferred over to the Tom Baker Centre and a week after that I'll be going to Hawaii! I don't know what they're going to say about my vacation, but I'm going to be adamant about going, that's for sure!

Back to waiting

2005-08-08T20:49:00.000-06:00

Visited my family doctor's backup today. It sounds like I'll need a referral from the diagnosing doctor (Dr. Gillis) and that I might need a tissue sample (surgical biopsy) as well before going to Tom Baker. Dr. Gillis is back next week so I'll be able to talk to him then, but it sounds like the biopsy might not be done this month! My dad has to fully pay for our Hawaii trip (Sept 16-Oct 2) next week so I guess he's just going to go ahead and do it. Hopefully chemo will start when I get back from Hawaii. I just want to know what's going on!

Vacation!

2005-08-05T15:00:00.000-06:00

No, not mine, every doctor in the city of Calgary! I need to get a referral to get into the Tom Baker Center (Calgary's cancer center) and both Dr. Gillis and my family doctor are on vacation. Dr. Gillis's backup doctor is also on vacation so the whole office is closed next week. I have an appointment on Monday with my family doctor's backup who will hopefully give me a referral so that I can get into Tom Baker next week. I have so many questions for them, and I just want to get my treatment underway. Waiting is doing nothing for my nerves.

CAT Scan

2005-08-04T13:38:00.000-06:00

My Dad drove me down to High River this morning for the CAT scan. It was pretty uneventful, but drinking that marker doesn't taste too good. The IV caused a strange warm feeling all over my body, pretty weird. I called Dr. Gillis afterwards and they have to do a surgical biopsy of the lump but they have no times available for August. I guess it's back to waiting again. I'm getting tired of waiting.

Cascade Mountain

2005-08-01T23:02:00.000-06:00

My friend Dave and I had decided long ago to climb Cascade Mountain, and being the long weekend we set out to do it, cancer or no cancer.

Looking up at Cascade Mountain, from the town of Banff:

The view from the backside, we're going to scramble along the ridge on the right:

Me heading up the ridge:

Dave stopping for a much needed break:

The scariest part of the scramble, the rock garden:

The last push to the summit:

Looking back down to Banff from near the summit:

We're almost there!

Dave calling Laura from the top:

How's that for a view? (3000m, ~10,000ft)

I'm proud that I did it, but man am I ever sore! I think my experience will help me knowing I have plenty of strength to make it through the treatment.

Dr. Gillis #2

2005-07-28T22:53:00.000-06:00

I show up nice and early, the receptionist is very happy and cheerful to me. I think something is up, but think nothing of it, content that both an aneurysm and lymphoma have been ruled out. It must be something minor I've convinced myself. When I see Dr. Gillis he has his little mirror on his head just like when he took the samples last time. Not again I'm thinking, this time I'll probably pass out before he even touches me. He talks about the results and calmly tells me that I have Hodgkins Lymphoma. I didn't really know what it was, only the basics. I ask him if it was cancer, "Yes." That was enough for me. My brain shut-off and he took more samples from the tumor (yes, now I thought of it as a tumor). I was in such a state of shock I didn't have a chance to even worry about the fact that I had a needle in my neck and completely forgot to pass out.

I walked out in a daze and called my Dad at home. I cried quite a bit and told him that I was coming home. I called my girlfriend and told her the news. She was already in a predicament with her leaving for Europe the next day and their hotels were booked for the wrong month. She was crying in the travel agents office, who told her she would take care of things and sent her home. She made her way over to my house, as did my Mom whom my Dad had called after I hung up with him.

I just kind of sat at home with my girlfriend and my parents for most of the day. Talking now and then, asking questions, but mostly we just cried, hugged or sat quietly in disbelief. I sent out an e-mail to some of my friends explaining the news and sent one to work saying that I wouldn't be in for a bit. My life is going to be completely different from here on.

Results are in

2005-07-27T22:51:00.000-06:00

Dr. Gillis's office calls me and informs me that the results from the sample are in. I have an appointment with them the next morning to discuss it.

Dr. Gillis #1

2005-07-22T22:47:00.000-06:00

Dr. Gillis is my new ear, nose and throat specialist and I arrive to hear the results of the ultrasound. He says that they saw the lump and that he needed a sample from it to figure out what it is. I say great, thinking it will happen another day, and am ready to leave when he starts pullling out needles. I don't like needles and I've already had more than enough for the year, just this last week, so this doesn't make me very happy. He inserts the first needle to freeze the area, then proceeds to insert a second needle into the lump. He pumps the plunger in and out as I become more and more dizzy. After this he tells me he needs to do it twice more. On the third time all I remember is dreaming and woke up with a cold towel on my neck and forehead. I'm feeling weak and shaky from passing out, so I don't end up getting into work.

The Ultrasound

2005-07-20T22:44:00.000-06:00

My ultrasound which was supposed to have been done on Saturday has now taken place on Wednesday. Each day I am told that it might be able to be done the next day. Finally, that next day is today. I go to the Rocky View Hospital and have my ultrasound. I strain my neck trying to see the screen as it is happening, but I can't make out enough of it. Mental note, I need to stretch my neck more. I ask her how it looks but she explains that she cannot tell me or make an analysis herself. I guess I will be doing some more waiting.

Let the fun begin

2005-07-15T22:38:00.000-06:00

I go to a walk-in clinic with my girlfriend Dawn. I show him the lump and he feels it, listens to it with the stethoscope and declares it to be an aneurysm. He jokingly adds that he's glad it's not lymphoma because then he would be telling me that I was about to die. Instead I only had a high chance of dying, either by a blood clot going to my brain or it bursting and causing me to bleed to death within 2 minutes. He calls ahead to the hospital getting surgeons ready to go and my girlfriend's parents drive me to the hospital where my parents will join us.

Once admitted I am given an IV, blood work is done, x-rays are taken of my neck and chest, etc. I am very frightened and so is my family. The emergency doctor requests the help of a specialist and together they determine that it is not an aneurysm, not lymphoma and it is probably just a cyst or swollen lymph node. They send me home with a request for an ultrasound and a referral for an ear, nose and throat specialist.

A Lump

2005-07-14T22:30:00.000-06:00

I feel a lump in my neck in the shower. It's about half the size of a golf ball and it's right above my left collarbone. I call my family doctor but can't get in for another week so I decide to try to get to a walk-in clinic over the next couple days.